.Oh ye of little faith. ("ye" = me)

Faith in Jesus Christ gives us strength to leave the past behind and look ahead to a brighter future.

"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever." (I John 2:15-17)


I needed to see this. I often times find myself looking back at my past... which, anyone who reads my blog very well knows. I never thought I looked back "longingly" like the wife of Lot... but I do. And I hate to admit that. I hate it more than any of you could understand. (pride, ugh.. what a "B") I thought at one point that I would never look back... but I do. I dream about it. I think about it. I miss it. I miss him.
I miss him.
We were together for 9 months. Inseparable.
I miss them.
The friends I met through him. We had fun and laughed a lot... maybe even too much...
I miss the way we laughed together. The way he looked at me. The way we didn't have to be doing anything at all... he was not perfect but I loved him regardless. I did him wrong and not in the way that many of you will assume. There was no cheating. There was not "another man". I was simply dishonest and it humbles me to admit that. If I could turn back time, if I could...

If.

Ok, see... this is what I am talking about. Here I go again, looking back longingly. You think that after meeting my ex-fiance, I would have been totally over him (his name is Nick) and past it all, but I was and am not. OK WORLD! There you have it. I am not over it. I am not over him. I did it, I said it out loud. Mock me if you must, but dang that felt good to get off my chest.

Readers: Please do not judge me...

Ok, can someone please destroy my rear view?
Since seeing this video, I have been trying to figure out how I can get past this. I know the answer to that question... but what I lack is the motivation to do so. "Oh ye of little faith," right? Will it come with time? Possibly... Will it come with faith? Yes. Faith first, then time. I also admit I am foolish sometimes. Ok, most of the time. With that being said, I am going to find my faith again.

Happy New Year yall.

changing in progress, do not disturb...