.IPD RULES.

I have been with the Irving Police Department for 4.5 years. I loved it, hated it, enjoyed it, and dreaded it. I laughed here, cried here, fallen here (literally) and lived here (also literally). I have worked on New Years Eve to bring in 2008 and 2010. I have worked Thanksgivings, Christmases and birthdays. I have been through 5 boyfriends, 2 engagements and ... just a few flavors of the week. I have told co-workers about my life, my religious views, what makes me happy, sad, annoyed and grateful. I have talked late into the night with friends I now consider family. I have waltzed in with 1 second to spare and I have run through the doors 15 minutes late. I have said "rest in peace" to a co-worker and cried with my work family over the tragic loss.

I have calmed a hysterical mother.
I have pleaded with a man trying to end his life.
I have heard the cries of a family member losing a loved one.
I have been cussed out and beat verbally by angry people.
I have been shocked and amused.
I have been blamed and mocked.

I have learned things about myself that otherwise may not have been discovered. I have discovered who I am.

Making the decision to move to Utah was not an easy one. I dwelt on it, contemplated other options and prayed my heart out. I am not only leaving a job or career. I am leaving a family. A dysfunctional one but a family nonetheless. I am leaving my home. My real home. I am leaving my state. (God Bless Texas) I have mixed emotions but I know this is the right step for me. I am excited to start a new chapter in my life.

I am grateful for all the memories and friends I have made here at the Irving Police Department. Don't lie to yourselves, you hate to see me go but you love to watch me leave ;) heh heh... WINK!!!!

Y'all better keep in touch... COJO is over and out!

so PRETTY

The most beautiful rose I have ever seen :) So pretty, I just HAD to share it.... 

hittin' the open road in 9 days....

"I was too legit. I was too legit to quit... but now I'm not legit. I'm unlegit. And for that reason, I must quit." -Rod

...SO I DID!!! I have resigned from the IPD. My last day is July 11th and I am moving to Sandy,Utah on the 13th. I am excited, scared, nervous, anxious and happy all at the same time.

I am excited to start fresh. I am excited to discover what I really want out of life, move forward and struggle along the way.
I am scared to leave behind what I have known for the past 25 years. I am scared to leave the stability of my job and the friends I have grown to love.
I am nervous to be on my own in unfamiliar territory. I am nervous to leave home.
I am anxious to meet new friends and see my family. I am anxious to see what the near future holds.
I am happy with my decision and I am happy that I know its right. I am... happy.

The dictionary meaning of home (hohm)-noun:
       1. A place where one lives; a residence.
       2. The physical structure within which one lives, such as a house or apartment.

Home is so much more to me... "Home is the one place in all this world where hearts are sure of each other.  It is the place of confidence.  It is the place where we tear off that mask of guarded and suspicious coldness which the world forces us to wear in self-defense, and where we pour out the unreserved communications of full and confiding hearts.  It is the spot where expressions of tenderness gush out without any sensation of awkwardness and without any dread of ridicule." -Frederick Robertson

A little over a year ago, I returned home. I had come back from being away... not only had I been away physically, but emotionally as well. But the moment I walked through the door that night I felt the kind of love you only feel when you are truly home. It was warm, friendly, inviting and happy.

To leave the security of my home is going to be rough but exciting. I find so much comfort in knowing that I can always return. Whether it is just to visit or to stay until I get back on my feet, I can return home and be welcomed with open arms. I have my parents to thank for making it so special and filled with love. It truly is a safe harbor from the unpredictable winds of the world.  

Ok, that is just about all of the mushy crap I can stand to write in one post...

I get to hit the open road with a car full of nothing but clothes and shoes... maybe a toothbrush... ok, and hair necessities... BUT other than that I really don't have much. Talk about starting out fresh! Ah, it will be greatness. This Texas girl is heading to Utah... do y'all think they are ready for me up there? It sure will be fun finding out...

Utah trip!!!

Ok, I know its been for-EV-er since I have updated anyone on my life... for that, I apologize. Well, assuming any of y'all care ;)

I will have to sit down and get to writin' somethin' awesome pretty soon... ya know, to let everyone know what my NEW PLANS are!!! Suspense??? That's right....

to be continued.... until then, enjoy the pics

.the tease.

We are beautiful....

no really, we are...

I don't know why, but when Andrew was a little boy I started calling him 'Tease'... and... it just kinda stuck. He is the funniest kid I know. We laugh a lot. He is my buddy. He doesn't judge. He is easily entertained. He is grateful. He and I are haters. We click. He makes me laugh. He plays guitar. He plays the drums. He works. He swims. He is a busy high school student. I just wanted to dedicate this post to him.... I love him.

When I work out...

I feel like this...

I have been working out a lot as of late. I have been working out my upper and lower body by PUMPIN' IRON and doing cardio daily. I am sleeping better, eating better, drinking more H to the iz-O!!! I feel great... I am so proud of my whole family *PROPS* Competition or not, everyone is working out, being active and making better decisions food wise. But, go team Beauty and the Beast!!! OK, that was all... happy Saturday y'all!

.Lake Grapevine, my kinda Texas, and a nice long hike (3 trips, 0 face plants).

 Only one way?? WHY!?

 Bower. My BFF. He made great company. Well, until I had to drag him back to the car because he was "tired".

We came to this fork in the road........ we took the "sketchy" way... we like to shake it up a bit

 We had to stop to take in the Texas scenery quite often... breath taking

 To cross?... or not to cross this shady bridge? We crossed it.

Another beautiful scene we came across.

     These pictures are from an amazing hike Bower and I went on, Monday afternoon. I was driving back home from a doctors visit when I decided I wanted to do something active ALL DAY LONG!!!! So I went home and researched hiking trails in the area. I picked the first one that had pretty pictures, packed a lunch, (string cheese, half a yellow bell pepper, and carrots) put Bower on a leash, laced up my 'sneaks and away we went! The trails were off a camping site called Rockledge Park.

     Bower was overly excited to get out of the car and run after all the wildlife. It was amusing at first, his excitement, but he didn't stop chasing critters until he was too tired to walk towards the end of our journey. About half way through we stopped on a ledge overlooking the beautiful lake and ate our lunch. (I packed him a milk bone... this is why he loves me so) I thought we would be alone on the trail after not seeing anyone all morning... but right after lunch a team of mountain bikers came riding through. Bower didn't like that very much. He wanted them stopped and punished. I told him to get over himself.

     We climbed rocks, jumped hurdles, trampled through mud, crossed shady bridges and even ran long stretches of the trails. The one thing that stood out to me all day was how beautiful everything was. Wildflowers, trees, berries, animals, birds... everything was so pretty and so... natural. When we were sitting down to eat I couldn't help but think of how grateful I am for the 5 senses and that I have all of them... especially sight. I am going to make hiking a weekly adventure. It was good for the soul.

.the next 100 days.

     My family has begun a 100 day challenge to lose weight and get in shape. It started on January 20th and goes until April 29th. We have divided ourselves up into 4 teams.

• Mom, Matt, and Andrew are "Weapons of Mass Reduction"
• Adam and Natalie are "Weight loss one-ders"
• Kelsey and Porter are "TexMex"
• Me and Dad are "Beauty and the Beast" (he came up with that name, by the way)

     We get points for working out and shedding pounds and the team with the most points by the end of the challenge wins the pot! SO I am highly motivated to kick everyone else in the hind parts. I worked out on day 1 for a good long while. I worked out my arms by doing some free weights then I hopped on the treadmill and ran my little heart out. For day 2, I walked on an inclined treadmill at a fast pace on my lunch break instead of going to get "fast" food. I am so sore but it feels SOOOOO good. I am all about winning and being competitive, but I am more excited to see everyone, as a family, pulling together to stay active and shed some weight. I can't wait until day 100 to see how everyone is lookin'!
     I am going to try and keep my blog updated with my workouts and things that present a challenge during these next 100 days. Help me stay motivated y'all!!!

this week I...

...went on a day date with Billings.

...spent some quality time with Tease. (also known as: Andrew)

...found an amazingly unique antique store hidden in Dallas.

...did something against my better judgment.

...hung out with an old friend.

...made a decision.

what a goofus.

.Oh ye of little faith. ("ye" = me)

Faith in Jesus Christ gives us strength to leave the past behind and look ahead to a brighter future.

"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever." (I John 2:15-17)


I needed to see this. I often times find myself looking back at my past... which, anyone who reads my blog very well knows. I never thought I looked back "longingly" like the wife of Lot... but I do. And I hate to admit that. I hate it more than any of you could understand. (pride, ugh.. what a "B") I thought at one point that I would never look back... but I do. I dream about it. I think about it. I miss it. I miss him.
I miss him.
We were together for 9 months. Inseparable.
I miss them.
The friends I met through him. We had fun and laughed a lot... maybe even too much...
I miss the way we laughed together. The way he looked at me. The way we didn't have to be doing anything at all... he was not perfect but I loved him regardless. I did him wrong and not in the way that many of you will assume. There was no cheating. There was not "another man". I was simply dishonest and it humbles me to admit that. If I could turn back time, if I could...

If.

Ok, see... this is what I am talking about. Here I go again, looking back longingly. You think that after meeting my ex-fiance, I would have been totally over him (his name is Nick) and past it all, but I was and am not. OK WORLD! There you have it. I am not over it. I am not over him. I did it, I said it out loud. Mock me if you must, but dang that felt good to get off my chest.

Readers: Please do not judge me...

Ok, can someone please destroy my rear view?
Since seeing this video, I have been trying to figure out how I can get past this. I know the answer to that question... but what I lack is the motivation to do so. "Oh ye of little faith," right? Will it come with time? Possibly... Will it come with faith? Yes. Faith first, then time. I also admit I am foolish sometimes. Ok, most of the time. With that being said, I am going to find my faith again.

Happy New Year yall.

changing in progress, do not disturb...

.things I've been told.

.never cook bacon naked.
.keep your knives sharp.
.don't be the first to buy any kind of technology.
.eat tomatoes only when they are in season.
.be kind to your siblings.
.if you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
.the world owes you nothing. it was here first.
.take it easy, but take it.